Tired of the same old small talk at networking events? Try this instead.

I’ve been to hundreds of networking events over the past 10 years.

Most are indistinguishable from each other, which is no dig at the people that run them. I run networking events myself and know that the value comes from the conversation in the room, not the fancy location or gimmicks you employ to get people there. Here’s some advice to get more out of them.

The thing about networking events is that if you aren’t making connections, it’s probably your fault.

Ok, that’s not what you wanted to hear. But let me explain.

If you take a bunch of people and put them in a room there is always the chance to create meaningful conversation, no matter how much or little you have in common. I know moving past small talk can be tough if the other person isn’t giving you much to work with, but like any other skill, the art of opening up conversation can be learnt through intentional practice and repetition.

The biggest way to upgrade your networking skills is to better utilise follow up questions.

We get stuck on surface level conversation because we fail to dig in to the opportunities people give us to go deeper.

If you really want to know more about the person in front of you, every answer to a question creates a list of new questions that can be asked. Why did they choose to do that? What did they learn from that? Would they recommend their approach to other people? How did they feel when that thing happened?

If you really dig in, you can talk about a single subject for hours. Most people have way more to share than they will offer up without being asked.

Behind every story is an emotional being with the same feelings you have. You can learn from their experience.

There is always the opportunity for depth and connection, if you’re willing to go there.

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